When I got pregnant with my first child, my daughter, I knew it wasn’t going to be easy. I knew babies cried and all that stuff but what I didn’t realize was how I was going to have to effectively learn to communicate with her, obviously she couldn’t talk, all she could do was cry to get her point across.
Soon I realized we could I could both use our facial expression to let each other know when we were happy, tired, upset or when one of us needed something. I had it pretty lucky with my daughter, she was and still is an easy read.
I learned what when she cried at night and I can in her room tired and upset that I wasn’t getting enough sleep that if I showed that frustration she cried more, it upset her that I was upset, “Watch a baby just as he or she starts to cry, and you’ll often see the frontalis, pars medialis, shoot up, as if it were on a string”. Once I figured this out I would start going into her room with a HUGE smile on my face, sometimes I would even dance to let her know I was happy to come get her, eventually she understood my facial expression of happiness and would stop crying when I came to get her. Therefore, I started to employ this tactic on a regular basis. After three babies, it worked on two, lol.
Moreover, in addition to learning how to communicate with an infant my husband and I were also trying to learn a new form of communication between ourselves. Neither of us had done this before and neither of us knew the power of no sleep and a crying infant could have on our lives.
Four years later and being on my third maternity leave in a four year period my husband and I struggle every day to effectively communicate and every day is a new learning experience for us as a family, our emotional intelligence has growing leaps and bounds and as a couple we have jumped off so many emotional cliffs and risked everything emotionally and mentally to be where we are today, I wouldn’t change it for the world “Recall that each person you now know and love was once a stranger to you. Can you imagine your life without them? Was it worth the risk to take that leap of faith to welcome them in?”
Malcolm Gladwell, The naked Face